1) Forgetting to take medication or pay bills. If they are having memory issues, asking them doesn’t work.
Check your loved one’s medicine bottles when you visit and note the prescribed dosage and date of the last refill. In the next few days, visit again and see if the right amount of medication is missing or if it seems more than the correct amount is gone. If the bottle is just as full as before or if it looks much emptier than it should be, this is a sign your loved one is forgetting their proper dosage.
Check the mail lying around their house for unopened mail or overdue bills and check their phone for messages from creditors. If you have access to their bank statements or financial records, review those for monthly proof of bills being paid. You may even want to call their utility companies and see if they have any outstanding balances.
Look for things like missing checks. That could be a red flag for financial abuse.
2) Poor Hygiene/Change in Appearance. If your loved one is continually wearing the same outfit, has a strong body odor, has dirty hair, seems sad or anxious, or has disturbed sleeping patterns, it may be a sign they need help.
3) Deficient Diet. Have they gained or lost excessive weight? Are they consuming a lot of alcohol? If they aren’t getting the right nutrition, their bodies will break down at an accelerated rate. Check the fridge for spoiled food piling up. It may be a signal they are not properly taking care of themselves.
4) Unexplained Bruising. Although elders tend to bruise easier, it could be a sign they’ve fallen. Worse yet, physical abuse could be occurring. A good time to check this out is if you’re helping them dress or change for bed.
5) Phone Call at Odd Hours. If they call at weird times of the day or night, it can be a sign of memory loss or a clear call for help. Also, note if their tone of voice is consistent with their personality.
6) Car Accidents or Tickets. If there are multiple accidents (no matter how small) it’s time to talk about continuing to drive. You may want to ride along and observe. Perhaps new glasses are in order. Everyone fiercely guards their freedom to drive, as this is their last bit of independence in their life.
7) Fall Hazards. Indoor and outdoor stairs without railings or that have poor lighting are dangerous. Look for throw rugs (a major cause of falls) and unsafe stepladders or stools. Does their bathroom look like an obstacle course for them? Has their vision changed or are they feeling dizzy? If they’ve had one fall, they’re more likely to have more.
8) Loss of Interest in Hobbies. This could be a clear sign of depression or feelings of isolation. Either of these causes drastic changes in a person and can affect memory and health.
If your loved one does need help, deciding how to help them isn’t a “black & white” issue. Each person is unique and requires a unique solution.
