Have you found yourself at times having negative thoughts or bringing up memories of events that were negative, and thought, if only you had taken a different path or done something different, there would have been a more positive outcome? What were the events? How long ago did they happen? Who was involved? I bet some of the memories of negative experiences are crystal clear, no matter how long ago they happened. The way you deal with these negative thoughts makes you…. you!
While dealing with an illness over the past several months, I found myself dwelling on negative things that have happened in my past that I felt were mistakes. I was surprised to find myself thinking about events that happened when I was a child and all the way through high school and university. Even as an adult, there were personal and work events where I wished I had made better choices and that they would have had a more positive outcome. Who knows how it would have affected my life one way or another?
I mentioned this to my doctor who said it was normal when we are sick and recovering from a major surgery, under stress, exhausted, hungry, not sleeping well, or slightly depressed, to think these negative thoughts. This can add to the recovery time from your illness or condition and lead you to staying sick longer! Wow!
Watch for the following signs:
Do you jump to conclusions? Your best friend hasn’t called; they must be mad at you.
You constantly play the “what if” game when planning. This is a big one that affects many people. Paralysis by over analysis? You find yourself playing a game of chess in your head with the various consequences of your next move. If I make the wrong move – I lose. This can also lead to procrastination. “Well, I just won’t make any decision or put it off for another day. Next thing you know, the opportunity is gone.
Shouldn’t everyone? You follow the rules and get angry when others don’t, and they get ahead, and you don’t. “It’s not fair,” you cry! This line of thinking leads you back to “what if”.
Blame game. This falls into two separate camps. Either you take all the blame for your failures, or just the opposite, and you blame everybody else for your failures. I see this happen all the time, “It’s somebody else’s fault”! We currently have a younger generation who want everything for free and feel entitled that “it’s owed to me”. No, it isn’t.
What to do, or how to resolve this habit? Stop yourself from this line of thinking and redirect your thoughts to something more productive or positive. Start a mental list of the good or positive things in your life. In other words – count your blessings and all the right decisions you have made.
One last thing that is hard for some people…. get rid of the negative people in your life! The poor me folks will take you down with them. Sometimes a friend just needs to vent or get some advice with an issue they are struggling with. This occasional situation is okay, but a person that has negative stuff every single time, well, talking to them on a daily, constant barrage can be poison to your mental health.
In this day and age, where we are constantly bombarded with negative news on the TV and in our local newspapers (which seem to not be able to print any news, just negative articles about everything that’s wrong), make a promise to have less exposure to all things negative.
Last thought, no negative thoughts or worry on what to pick for a Medicare plan, when to activate your Social Security benefit check, financial retirement planning, or estate planning. We have these no-cost classes each month. Just the facts you need to make a decision! Be positive!
Call us! We can help!