Passing It On, Part 1
You Have a Will. So You're Covered, Right?
June 10, 2026
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Show Notes
Eddie and Betty's Conversation
Welcome back to The American Retirement Advisor. I'm Betty, and we're starting something new today that I think is going to hit home for a lot of families. Our COO Ian Schaeffer wrote a piece about something he's calling 'Passing It On,' and it's about way more than just estate planning. It's about that conversation most of us keep putting off, you know? The one where we actually talk to our kids about what we're leaving behind and why.
And what got me about Ian's piece is how he starts. He says almost every family gets the same thing wrong right at the beginning. They think once they've signed their will, they're done. Like they can check that box and move on.
Oh, I can hear people saying that right now. 'We have a will, so we're all set.' That feeling of relief when you finally get that thing signed and notarized.
Exactly. And that's exactly when Ian says to slow down, because a will does way less than most people think. He calls it the floor, not the finish line.
So what's missing? I mean, if you've got a will that says who gets what, what else do you need?
Well, there are three big gaps that surprised me when I read through this. The first one is something almost everybody has backwards. People think a will helps their family avoid probate court.
Wait, it doesn't?
It's actually the opposite. A will is your ticket into probate. The probate court reads your will like an instruction sheet. So anything that goes through your will has to go through probate first.
So if I'm thinking I'm making things easier for my kids by having a will, I'm actually sending them to court?
Right. Now, how heavy that process is depends on your state and how big your estate is. Some states have simplified procedures for smaller estates. But Ian points out it's rarely as quick or private as families expect. We're talking months of waiting, public records, before your family can actually get what you left them.
That's not what people picture when they're sitting in the lawyer's office signing their will. They're thinking, 'Good, this will be smooth for the kids.'
Exactly. And if you want to avoid that delay, you're looking at something like a trust, which is a completely separate decision from having a will.
Okay, so that's one gap. What's the second thing people miss?
This one stopped me in my tracks when I read it. Your biggest accounts don't even listen to your will.
What do you mean they don't listen to it?
Your retirement accounts, your life insurance, they don't follow your will at all. Your 401k, your IRA, annuities, life insurance policies, they all pass by what's called a beneficiary designation. That's the name you wrote on a form, probably years ago.
Oh no. I think I see where this is going.
As long as there's a living person named on that form, that beneficiary gets the money automatically, outside of probate, and it overrides whatever your will says.
So let me make sure I understand this. Let's say my will says everything goes equally to my three kids, but my old 401k from that job I had ten years ago still just has my oldest child's name on it.
The form wins. Your oldest gets the entire 401k, and your other two kids get whatever's left to split according to the will.
That could create some serious family problems.
Absolutely. And here's the kicker - for most retirees, these accounts are the largest part of their estate. So the will everyone worked so hard on might not control the biggest dollars at all.
So we could have families where the will was supposed to be fair and equal, but because of old beneficiary forms, one child gets the lion's share and the others get much less.
That's exactly right. And nobody meant for that to happen. They just didn't realize those forms trump the will.
This is making me think about all those job changes over the years, all those times you fill out beneficiary forms on day one and then never think about them again.
Or life changes, right? Divorce, remarriage, new grandchildren. Your will might be updated, but those beneficiary forms are still sitting there with old information.
Okay, that's two big gaps. What's the third one?
This one hits different because it's about the years you're still here. A will only takes effect after you pass away. It does absolutely nothing while you're alive but unable to make decisions.
Like if you have a stroke or a serious fall?
Exactly. The documents that speak for you in that situation are a financial power of attorney and a health care directive, and they're completely separate from your will.
So a family could have a perfectly good will, but if dad has a stroke and can't make decisions, nobody can legally handle his finances or make medical decisions?
That's exactly what Ian wrote. Families who only have a will are often shocked to learn that no one can legally pay the bills or direct the care of a parent who's still living but can't decide for themselves.
And I bet that's where a lot of family conflict comes from. Everyone's trying to help, but nobody has the legal authority to actually do anything.
Ian says this gap creates the most heartache and the most family conflict. And I can see why. You're dealing with a crisis, emotions are running high, and then you find out you can't even access accounts to pay for care.
So we've got three big gaps: wills don't avoid probate, they don't control your biggest accounts, and they don't help while you're still alive but incapacitated. Is that everything?
Actually, Ian says there's a fourth thing, and this might be the most important one. Even if you have a perfect set of papers - will, trust, powers of attorney, everything in order - you're still missing the most important part.
What could be more important than having all the legal documents right?
The conversation. Documents move money, but they don't pass on the why behind it. They don't explain the values, the stories, or the judgment that built what you're handing down.
Oh wow. So you can have the most perfectly crafted estate plan in the world, but if you never talk to your kids about your intentions, about what matters to you, about why you made the choices you made...
They get the money but they miss the meaning. One of our advisors told Ian it's bigger than estate planning. Way bigger than that.
That really hits me. Because I think about the stories my grandparents told me about why they saved certain things, why they valued certain principles. Those conversations shaped who I am way more than any inheritance could.
And that's what Ian means when he says the legal documents are the easy half. The conversation is the half that actually gets passed on, and it's the half almost everyone avoids.
Why do we avoid it? I mean, if it's so important, why don't families have these conversations?
I think it's because it feels too final, too scary. Like we're tempting fate by talking about it. Or maybe we don't want to burden our kids with thinking about losing us.
But by avoiding the conversation, we're actually creating a bigger burden later. They have to guess at our intentions, figure out what we would have wanted.
Exactly. And without that context, money can divide families instead of blessing them.
So let's get practical for a minute. Someone's listening to this thinking, 'Okay, I see the problems. What do I actually need to do?' Start with the documents - what should people be checking?
First, check those beneficiary designations. Pull out statements from every retirement account, every life insurance policy, every annuity, and see who's actually listed. Does it match what you want today?
And what if you're not sure? Like, what if you have an old 401k from a previous employer and you can't remember what you put on the form?
Call them. Most companies have a phone number for former employees to check on their accounts. You need to know what those forms say, because they're going to override your will.
What about the power of attorney and health care directive? How do people know if theirs are up to date?
That's a great question for an estate attorney. Different states have different requirements, and the rules change over time. I'd write that down as something to ask when you're reviewing your plan.
And what about trusts? Earlier you mentioned that's how people typically avoid probate. How do you know if you need one?
That depends on your state, the size of your estate, what your goals are. The exact rules there are really a question for one of our advisors or an estate attorney. But the key is understanding that it's a separate decision from having a will.
So someone could need both? A will and a trust?
Often, yes. They do different jobs. A trust can help you avoid probate and give you more control over when and how beneficiaries receive money. But you usually still want a will to catch anything that didn't make it into the trust.
This is making me realize how complicated this can get. All these different documents, all these different rules. How do families keep track of everything?
Well, Ian mentions something our team built called the BeneficiaryBox. It's designed to gather everything your family will need in one organized place so nothing important gets lost or forgotten.
Because I'm imagining my kids trying to figure out all my accounts, all my policies, all the different beneficiary forms, while they're grieving.
That's exactly the problem it solves. Having everything organized and documented ahead of time is a gift to your family.
But even with perfect organization, we still come back to that conversation piece, don't we? The part that Ian says is bigger than estate planning.
Right. Because your kids might understand the mechanics of what you're leaving them, but do they understand the heart behind it? Do they know the sacrifices you made to build it? The values you want them to carry forward?
And do they know what you hope they'll do with it? I mean, if you've spent thirty years building wealth to give your family security and opportunity, wouldn't you want them to know that story?
Absolutely. Because without that context, they might make decisions you never would have wanted. Or worse, they might feel guilty about receiving it, or fight with siblings about what you really intended.
So how do you start that conversation? I mean, it's one thing to say families need to talk about this. It's another thing to actually sit down at the dinner table and bring it up.
Ian says that's exactly what he's covering next in this series - the conversation no family wants to have first, and how to actually start it.
I'm looking forward to that, because I think that's where a lot of people get stuck. They know they should talk about it, but they don't know how to begin.
And in the meantime, if people want to get their documents and beneficiaries reviewed, Ian mentions that our team does something called an Inheritance Planning meeting, where they take stock of everything that matters and make sure the documents actually say what people think they say.
That sounds like a really good place to start, especially if you're not sure whether your current plan actually does what you want it to do.
Right. They work with estate attorneys to coordinate everything and make sure nothing falls through the cracks. Because as we've talked about today, there are a lot of places where things can go wrong.
And the stakes are so high. We're not just talking about money. We're talking about family relationships, about honoring someone's wishes, about carrying forward their values.
That's what makes this bigger than estate planning. It's about passing on what really matters, not just what's in your bank account.
You know what strikes me most about Ian's article? It's that relief he talks about when people sign their will. That feeling of 'okay, we're all set.' But really, that's when the important work begins.
Because the will is just the foundation. Everything else - the beneficiaries, the powers of attorney, the organization, and especially the conversation - that's what actually protects your family and passes on your legacy.
If you're listening and you're thinking about your own family situation, I'd encourage you to take that next step. Whether it's checking your beneficiary forms, or scheduling that Inheritance Planning meeting, or just starting to think about what conversation you need to have with your kids. Don't let that relief of having a will stop you from doing the rest of the work.
And if you want help figuring out whether your plan actually does what you think it does, you can reach our team at 602-281-3898. They can walk you through all of this and help coordinate with estate attorneys to make sure nothing gets missed.
Next time, we'll dig into that conversation piece - how to actually start talking with your family about what matters most. Until then, I'm Betty.
And I'm Eddie. Thanks for listening to The American Retirement Advisor.